////////// [entries|friends|calendar] Chewing John A no good, visor-wearing, Pringle-eating, flyer-giving, music-filming so-and-so, on the hunt for the lowest of low cultures. Based in Isleworth, SW London (home to comedian Jimmy Carr, murderer Levi Bellfield, and the fake Australian girl from last year's Big Brother), I'm an ex-uni student ridding the world of Pringles and slapping edits on YouTube. You're gonna love me. [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Just a city boy born and raised in south Detroit [Tuesday June 30th, 2009 at 10:00pm] [ music | Journey - Don't Stop Believing ] Glastonbury was alright. 04 / REPLY

You can't go home after where you slept last night [Thursday June 18th, 2009 at 2:00pm] [ music | The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart - This Love Is Fucking Right! ] I love mash-ups. What was it the folks on Blue Peter used to always say? No, not "Boo hoo, our garden has been vandalized." Oh, I remember. ( 'Here's one I made earlier.' ) 02 / REPLY

Why do we keep on digging up bones? [Saturday June 13th, 2009 at 9:00am] [ music | Esser - Bones ] You can't have failed to get a load of that Big Brother faff being back on the magic rectangle recently. The freak count is uncharacteristically low this year, which has resulted in a distressing inability to point at the glass and promptly finger your new deities for the summer. However, I quite approved of Sophia. :( x 100 00 / REPLY

Chasing spiders all through the night [Friday June 5th, 2009 at 4:00pm] [ music | James Yuill - No Pins Allowed ] A bit dusty round here, innit. 00 / REPLY

All your cigarettes and cups of coffee [Friday January 23rd, 2009 at 4:00pm] [ music | Ida Maria - Keep Me Warm ] Terry Christian has, has, HAS to win Sleb Big Brother tonight. For someone whose mind was assumed to take the shortest possible journey on The Word he's shown himself to be the only one in the house with anything worthwhile to say. All the jingles tossed around for Verne Troyer ("Aww, he's so small!" the man is 40 years old, "But he was Mini-Me!" yeah, a decade ago) are harebrained. At best, Verne's been somewhat creepy; the less said about Baby M the better. So vote for Terry. Incidentally, it's fascinating seeing Davina McCall agog at Terry's wit. She must have had some semblance of a clue during her audition to be a presenter for The Word all those years ago. 06 / REPLY

Who's that lounging in my chair [Tuesday January 20th, 2009 at 12:00pm] [ music | La Chansons - Sex And Candy ] The Many Faces Of Ben Adams Number three - DULL AS FUCK I am heartbroken. 02 / REPLY

I'm bluffin' with my muffin [Monday January 12th, 2009 at 10:00am] [ music | Lady GaGa - Poker Face ] The Many Faces Of Ben Adams Number two - REJUVENATED 07 / REPLY

One hand on the trigger and one eye out for the goal [Thursday January 8th, 2009 at 2:30pm] [ music | Leona Naess - Leave Your Boyfriends Behind ] Bar a few neckings of Aftershock, nothing announces the new year better than a Celebrity Big Brother parade. Gone is all that vegetarian teen twaddle of yesteryear, now replaced by the real folks who stretch the word 'celebrity' beyond all recognition. But who wants to dribble on about Shrek, Ulrikack, et al? Quite frankly, it's all about Ben Adams. He of the handsome features used to be a bit of a staple round these parts. So, proving that very little changes, here's a totally original and unaffiliated-with-Harry-Hill look at The Many Faces Of Ben Adams. 00 / REPLY

Pacing through hallways to get your attention [Saturday December 13th, 2008 at 2:00pm] [ music | Dan Scotty - Say Goodbye ] Tonight is the grand final of that programme where all the mentally ill folk turn up and the least brain-damaged of the herd get paraded on live telly. Alas, this year it's all gone horridly wrong in a very true and scientific manner. So, in an explanation breaking down the barriers of pointlessness like never before, here's a semi-sorta-maybe-ish parallel between Britain's finest late night delights: Big Brother and The X Factor. The winner of the first series only nabbed victory through a sympathy vote, whereas the runner-up was ultimately the more interesting of the final pair. The second series saw a pretty shaven-headed thing being the early favourite and eventually legging it with the win. A woman excitingly came out on top for the first time in the third series. The most mind-numbing series was the fourth, lacking the usual 'buzz' of earlier runs and the victor managing to inexplicably make Cat Aids a better offering. The fifth series, however, ends up reswizzling the product; viewers are once again glued to the gogglebox, everyone yammers about the big characters... and a foreign lady from a country yonder, seeking acceptance in Blighty, wins the public's affections early on and comes out on top. Now this is why Ruth Lorenzo should have won The X Factor, so as to not disturb this prime reality parallel bubble thinger. Alexandra and JLS are no Nadia, and if Eoghan wins we shall all be threoghan up. 00 / REPLY

I'll never sit back and say that'll do I'm afraid [Thursday December 11th, 2008 at 12:00pm] [ music | Does It Offend You, Yeah? - Dawn Of The Dead ] ( John's Shit-hot Albums and Singles of 2008 ) . 03 / REPLY

Without you here the seasons pass me by [Friday August 15th, 2008 at 3:00pm] [ music | Emiliana Torrini - Today Has Been Okay ] Ahoy! I've found a charming getaway spa on the other side of the cyberhighway blogosphere. I'll pop back with specs after the weekend, it's a good'un. x 06 / REPLY

If you see me at midnight walking the streets you know it's me for I cannot sleep [Sunday August 3rd, 2008 at 7:30pm] [ music | Umbrellas - The City Lights ] Things to do at Brighton Pride 2009: Don't bother with train tickets, even if they were three quid, because no-one checks Try not to jump on a table in the Popstarz tent and leave it an incomprehensible jigsaw puzzle Avoid dancing with such abandon in the Wild Fruit tent that someone yelps "you're on my fake leg" Sneak into more clubs as you don't live in Brighton so getting hoofed out of them is of no consequence And never ever, ever, EVER get the first train home. 00 / REPLY

It was summertime we had too much time [Thursday July 31st, 2008 at 2:30pm] [ music | The Hereafter - Back Where I Was ] Kate Perry is racking up the weeks atop charts worldwide with a ditty titled 'I Kissed A Girl', which got rush released online in the UK yesterday (mid-week no less) so we can be added to the tally. The problem is the song is a load of old cobblers. The tune's not that shabby, albeit a substandard example of its pop-rock-electro genre. However, it's not the tune that courts media attention but the faux-lesbian lyrical content. Is this the point where I verbally slap Perry's wrists for appropriating the gay lifestyle? Not just, the problem is the media and how a title like 'I Kissed A Girl' can still flutter the skin above the eyes. The notion of girls kissing girls for sexual gratification or for rubbing boys up the wrong way is itself hideously dated. The West has come so far in both shockability and gay equality that we should be sending song titles like 'I Fisted A Girl' to the top of the hit parade. In the meantime our next worldwide chart-ripper-upper looks likely to be 'I Flashed A Chimney Sweep'. Someone is slapping their forehead and rolling around the floor in utter despair as these overlayered yelps for attention crook sexuality for the worse and continue to collect sales while Kate Perry jumps back into bed with her music video boyfriend. Her name might well be Jill Sobule. 04 / REPLY

I want to build my Rome and get high [Monday July 14th, 2008 at 11:00pm] [ music | The Charlatans - Just When You're Thinkin' Things Over ] Some tasks take longer than a day; Rome's construction was apparently no 24-hour job. Neither is catching up with all the Big Brother you missed while you were falling over tents for the best part of a week at Glastonbury. Coupled with the new episodes you're missing as you faff about with yesterweek's lot you're looking at a lot longer than a single, solitary day. I'm versed with the past weekend's Head-Of-House contest, another of this year's pilferings from the American series which, strangely enough, embarked on its tenth season the same weekend. They are indeed a season ahead, but only because that writers' strike necessitated the telly listings be filled with SOMETHING, ANYTHING. They're not even that fond of Big Brother over there, and coming from a country that thrives on Courtroom TV and Most Shocking Police Chases 4 you know that's telling us something. Perhaps not undertaking the stresses that Channel 4 go through to impress an entire nation results in the tossing about of better concepts. Having already lobbed a real-life couple in the house five months ago, BB10's opening twist was for the new housemates to elect a Head-Of-House before even entering the house purely based on appearance. H-O-H is the big kahuna yankside; election is via arduous competition and victory results in safety and the choice to put up for nomination the folks that get on your wick. Potential wick-riders this series include a 75-year-old great-grandfather, a gay rodeo champion and a cocktail mixer who insists on being known as a "mixologist". Why have Channel 4's cheeseburger when you can have steak. 010 / REPLY

Walking by myself down avenues that reek of time to kill [Wednesday July 9th, 2008 at 8:45am] [ music | Santogold - L.E.S Artistes ] Some strange fellow called Joe Orton was once in the news for sticking random heads on the torsos of bodybuilders and abandoning the creations in library books. Some library card-clutching telly chief was clearly inspired by a find to decapitate ITV's old Gladiators lot and stick the heads on top of WWE wrestlers for a revival series on Sky One. The new series rings truer to the David-&-Goliath notion than the nineties' series ever did (which was less David-&-Goliath, more David-&-Elton). However, while it improves in some areas it buckles in others. Notably, while Sky strives to yank the franchise out of the nineties it allows contestants to get jabbed off dueling podiums to three of its biggest musical staples: "Boom! Shake The Room", "Tubthumping" and "...Baby One More Time". This Sunday the quarter-finals kick off, which means the lame have been weeded out for a battle of the best. Alas, the best have in fact been weeded out for a battle of the lame. Actually, it's a stretch to even suggest THAT. Some jaunts across the "dreaded" Eliminator would suggest the lame being outdone by the lamer. No warriors here sadly, just fuck-ups fucking up for other fuck-ups to, shall we say, fucking win. One Eliminator heat saw a scrawny God-botherer (barely lasting two seconds in any earlier events) pilfer a win over a brick-shithouse athlete who'd earned an eleven second advance. Another stand-off saw a competitor weeping over a bad leg and letting his competition do the whole thing alone. The last qualifying show saw the travelator turned off all together because they needed somebody to win the damn thing. Despite the inability to put on a decent battle this is, of course, still good telly. As a nation we love nothing better than watching people fall arse over tit in situations they're ill-equipped for while some scamp barely better than they are gets one over on them. That might go to explain our interest in programming like Crimewatch. 00 / REPLY

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]